Should you be struggling with your mental health, knowing what your brain is doing to help behind the scenes could be empowering and hope-inducing. Talking – and not just to a therapist – can change brain structure and function in useful ways. In turn our nervous systems, as well as other internal organs such as the heart and gut, start doing things to help us out too. Continue reading “Ten ways that talking – to a mate or therapist – can trigger helpful changes in the brain”
‘It sorted me right out after an interview knockback.’
‘I came to most of my insights subconsciously whilst doing a jigsaw puzzle. It was meditative.’
‘All I wanted to do was come home and get on with my puzzle.’ Continue reading “Jigsaw puzzling against anxiety, depression, and more”
Communicating is a tricky business. So many things can trigger us and block our ability to get what we need from conversations and relationships in general. For me it’s a process of continual learning and practise too, even if I’m aware of the following ‘traps’. Perhaps it’s similar for you. Continue reading “Three common sentences that block communication for couples – and some alternatives”
I know I’m relaxed when I realise I’m cutting a cherry tomato into no less than six pieces. What about you – what are the tell tale signs of what’s going on inside? Staying in touch with our ever-changing selves is key to mental health. You may already be on top of this. If not.. Continue reading “Focussing: 6 steps to mental health with nothing but your good self required”
Just a wee reminder to you and me that not saying or doing something, not making a choice, is indeed doing too. It is an action with attendant responsibility. Silence is a powerful stance; those on the receiving end could be significantly impacted. Continue reading “Silence is a responsibility”
I hope – and don’t think I am – evangelical about ‘the talking cure’. Keeping shtum I’ve found vitally protective at times. For example, when I’ve tried talking and that has been damaging, having not been ‘received’ in that communication. Continue reading “Could NOT talking be the key?”
The artistic giant Anni Albers (1899 – 1994) turned to textile art as her second choice of career; options were especially limited as a woman. I was gorgeously stirred by an exhibition of her work at the Tate Modern in London, not least because her approach has kinship to the therapy world. Continue reading “What Anni Albers taught this therapist”
If you need permission to do or to be just as you are – or less – today, here’s your ticket. I love this poem – ‘Today’ by Jean Little.
TODAY I will not live up to my potential.
TODAY I will not relate well to my peer group.
TODAY I will not contribute in class.
I will not volunteer one thing.
TODAY I will not strive to do better.
TODAY I will not achieve or adjust or grow enriched
or get involved.
I will not put up my hand even if the teacher is wrong
and I can prove it.
TODAY I might eat the eraser off my pencil.
I’ll look at the clouds.
I’ll be late.
I don’t think I’ll wash.
I NEED A REST.
These are tricky times, I think we may agree that. The political backdrop to our lives is having an unsettling effect. Add to that the inescapable force and pace of social media, and what this psychotherapist sees is anxiety aplenty.
Cue, depression. Anxiety and depression can be a dastardly duo. The good news is that addressing one will often quieten the other. They – like most mental health difficulties – may be eased by looking at both symptoms and root causes.
More good news: there are some daily choices (for the lucky ones) that can support mental health and resilience. Perhaps you are already well-versed in aspiring to the below, but just in case:
1. Eat well.
2. Sleep well.
3. Exercise.
4. Be aware of what you enjoy, and do those things – small or big. Let’s assume they aren’t self-destructive…
5. Be aware of and don’t do (too much) of what you don’t enjoy, if possible
6. Be able to say ‘no’ when needed
7. Download the ‘CALM’ or ‘Headspace’ App – and use it
Granted, some of these are biggies that you may need help with. For example, ‘being able to say no’ may open a meaty topic about how you see yourself. Oh so worth looking at, though – not least because these kinds of roots of difficulty often hold us back in various ways, some of which we may not even be aware of.
I find it unnatural to draw lines between anxiety, depression, roots, symptoms, etc. From nearly a decade of working with clients, I see that working with the whole person, rather than trying to compartmentalise difficulties, is beneficial. People are not linear, so neither is the therapy I offer.
I hasten to add that sometimes it’s necessary to prioritise symptoms – and I think what the National Health Service provides often does just that. However, this is only part of the work with anxiety, depression, and indeed mental health problems in general.
If your mental health is difficult to manage alone at the moment, symptoms or biggies or otherwise, I hope that you will seek help. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy is a good place to start: www.bacp.co.uk . And I am contactable via the ‘contact tab’.
This morning I flicked open ‘The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats’ – a gift from some lovely friends – and stumbled upon this beauty. It speaks to me and I hope it will you too.
Sweetheart, do not love too long:
I loved long and long,
And grew to be out of fashion
Like an old song.
All through the years of our youth
Neither could have known
Their own thought from the other’s,
We were so much at one.
But O, in a minute she changed –
O do not love too long,
Or you will grow out of fashion
Like an old song.